Anime vs Comics
by Insieme per la vittoria
Summary: A collection of one-shots where Anime/Manga characters face Comic characters. Each chapter is independent, and characters are as in character as possible. Suggestions are welcome, and a Poll can be found at the top of the writer's profile page concerning future battle options.
1. Goku vs Iron Man

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Dragon Ball Z or Marvel Comics.**

Chi-Chi finished making breakfast, and stood up, allowing Gohan to eat. Gohan's one bowl looked ridiculous next to the ten bowls that were waiting for Goku.  
"Goku!" Yelled Chi-Chi. "Get down here now!"  
When there was no answer, Chi-Chi shrugged. "Come down here or I'll give your food to Vegeta!"  
As she finished speaking, there was a flash of movement, and Goku sat at the table, dressed only in pants, and rapidly eating. Chi-Chi smirked. "I'll be sure to remember that threat."

* * *

In the sky, Iron Man flew through the air. "So tell me, Pepper. We're here looking for a guy with lots of explosives?"  
Pepper's response was very indignant. "Don't be stupid, Tony. We're looking for a man named Goku. SHIELD wants to question him."  
Tony rolled his eyes. "Yeah, Fury probably just wants the land cleared so he can use it for a secret base. I trust that guy as far as you could throw him."  
Tony slowed down, and hovered in the air. "That's the house. All right, wish the poor guy luck. I'm dropping in unannounced."

* * *

Goku was still eating when he heard the sound of some sort of engine. He then looked up in shock as a red suit made of metal dropped in through the roof. Iron Man floated over Goku, and folded his arms. "Hey you. We got something to discuss."  
Before Goku could respond, Chi-Chi ran up to Iron Man and started hitting him.  
"I'll tell ya what we gotta discuss! You just put a hole in my house, and you even interrupted breakfast! I'm gonna kick your butt!"

Goku watched, amused, as Chi-Chi kicked Iron Man repeatedly, not damaging the armour at all, but still causing indignant comments to come from Iron Man. Goku then stood up and moved over, getting between them, only to receive a slap from Chi-Chi.  
"Ow! Chi-Chi, what was that for?"

* * *

Several hours later, Chi-Chi had finally calmed down. Goku and Iron Man stood outside, and were focusing on each other.  
"So, what's up? Something the matter?"  
Iron Man shrugged. "I was told to investigate here by SHIELD. A job I had to do."  
Iron Man's helmet suddenly spoke to him in Nick Fury's voice. "You found him. Good. He's not hostile, but we need you to find out just how strong he is. Can you do that?"  
Iron Man shrugged. "Sure. Whatever, Fury. You ever considered doing these things yourself, Fury?"  
Iron Man looked up at Goku. "Hey, the slimy guy who sent me here wants me to fight you to see how strong you are. You cool with that? If you're not, I can tell him to stuff it."  
Goku nodded. "Okay. I could use some training. Come on. I know a good place."

Goku and Iron Man rapidly flew to the field Goku was thinking of, and the two then faced each other. Goku declared the start, and the two charged, each of them taking to the air. The two of them collided, and Goku sent Iron Man hurtling back. Iron Man recovered rapidly, and flew at Goku again, punching him and knocking him back. Goku then fired a Ki blast at Iron Man, sending him flying through the air. Inside the suit, Tony Stark rapidly checked the information he was being sent.  
"Energy composition: unknown, but of clearly earthly structure. It reads as similar to static electricity and also to nuclear energy. Likely source: Ki. Damage: Moderate. Physical strike was more speed than anything else, and hit with a lot of force. Damage: Light."

Goku flew into Iron Man, collecting him and flying into the sky with him. Goku rained blows on Iron Man, bending the armour out of shape. Iron Man released the flares he carried, as well as releasing a burst of repulsor energy. Iron Man flew upwards, Goku letting go of him. Goku then fired a Ki blast that clipped Iron Man in the shoulder, sending him spinning. Goku then used Instant Transmission to appear behind Iron Man, and swung his foot at him. To his surprise, Iron Man blocked the kick despite not looking at Goku, before firing a blast from his repulsors which sent Goku flying, sporting some painful burns.

Goku then powered up to Super Saiyan, deciding to get serious. He fired a Ki beam at Iron Man, which Iron Man barely dodged, before Goku slammed into Iron Man, driving him down to the ground. Iron Man started to struggle, barely hearing his suit telling him that the damage levels were now critical. Goku tore the mask off and raised his fist, as if he were about to slam his fist straight through Tony Stark's head. Just as it seemed he would, he then lowered his hand, before pulling Tony to his feet.  
"That was fun. You ain't bad. You hungry? Breakfast's ready and waiting."

_Analysis:_

_Goku has almost every advantage in this fight. His strength is greater, seeing as his top strength feat was 20,000 tons with a guarantee that his stronger forms are higher, while Iron Man's strength is stated as being 1000 tons. Goku has the edge in speed, since both are relativistic in flight and have similar reactions, but Goku's attacking speed is higher since he can casually catch bullets. Durability is also in Goku's favour, since he gets slammed through buildings, islands, walls and bedrock with little damage, while Iron Man mainly tanks missiles._


	2. Alucard vs Ghost Rider

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hellsing or Marvel Comics.**

"All flesh is grass, and all the cunningness thereof as the flower of the field. The grass withereth, the flower fadeth, but the word of our god abideth forever."  
Alucard felt a lance driven into his chest, and he coughed up blood. Over him stood Abraham Van Hellsing, gripping the vampire.  
"You are judged, and found wanting, vampire king. You have nothing. You ARE nothing. Nothing!"

Alucard woke with a start, spilling his wine. He was sitting in the Hellsing mansion's basement. The room was dark, and no one was nearby. "Dreaming. It was just a dream. It was nothing."

After several minutes of silence, Alucard's phone rang, and he answered it.  
"Greetings, my master. Someone you want me to kill for you?"  
Integra's angry voice answered at the other end. "Don't you speak to me like that! A threat has been found, and we're sending you and Seras into action, so get your undead ass up here."  
Alucard smirked. "Anything else you want from my undead ass?"  
"Shut your face, you monster! Get up here now, and one more crack and you'll be drinking rat's blood for the next year!"  
As Integra hung up, Alucard smirked, before throwing back his head and howling with maniacal laughter.

* * *

Johnny Blaze sat on his motorcycle, reading a street directory for the local London area. Mephisto had told him to go to England and vanquish a dangerous vampire named Alucard, who could be found at the Hellsing mansion. Johnny had taken a flight to England and rented a motorcycle. The only problem was, finding this mansion was not going to be easy. Finally, Johnny found what he was looking for. Ripping the page from the directory and tossing the rest of the book away, he rode towards the Hellsing mansion.

* * *

Seras Victoria sat in a small chair in Integra Hellsing's office, jumping as Alucard stepped out of the wall beside her. Integra glared at Alucard, holding up a piece of paper.  
"We have a job for you. Apparently a demon known as the Ghost Rider is on route to London right now. Little is known of him except that he is dangerous. We'd like you to investigate and kill this creature if necessary. Seras is going with you."

* * *

Johnny Blaze reached the gates of the Hellsing mansion, and was surprised to find them broken down. Now that he was closer, he could sense it. There was a monster in that building. Actually, there were two. Blaze felt fire pouring from his body, and he rapidly removed his biking helmet, tossing it aside. Within seconds, Ghost Rider stood in front of the gates of the Hellsing mansion.

* * *

In Integra's office, the phone rang. It was one of the eight remaining Hellsing operatives.  
"Sir Integra, a flaming skeleton is moving through the mansion. We've tried to stop it, but it simply brushes us off. It is headed for your office."  
Integra heard a blow land, and the soldier stopped talking. A demonic voice then spoke over the phone. "The vampire burns today."

Integra rapidly opened up another line, contacting Walter.  
"Walter! I want you to get up to my office now."  
As she said that, the door to the office burst open, and the flaming skeleton walked in, looking at the three occupants of the room.  
"Someone in this room has a great many things to answer for. Who?"  
He looked at Integra, who stood behind her desk and looked ready to fight with a gun she held in her hand.  
"Not her…"  
He then looked at Seras, who held up Halconnen almost like a shield and was literally shivering, her eyes filled with terror.  
"Not her…"  
Finally his gaze fell upon the smirking Alucard, who was already pointing the Jackal at Ghost Rider.  
"It's him."

Ghost Rider started to head towards Alucard, but Seras stepped up first, shooting him with Halconnen. Ghost Rider ignored the shots, before seizing her. He looked straight into her eyes, watching as she cringed slightly. He then let go of her, allowing the terrified girl to drop to the floor.  
"This one is innocent."

Ghost Rider then reached Alucard, and looked Alucard up and down.  
"You… Are guilty."  
Alucard smirked, while Ghost Rider readied his chain. Alucard rapidly rested Jackal across his arm, shooting Ghost Rider in the face. Ghost Rider's head split, and he fell backwards, before suddenly slamming his foot on the floor, stopping his descent. He stood upright again, and his head was already back in place. Alucard charged at Ghost Rider, punching the Spirit of Vengeance in the face. Ghost Rider staggered, before breathing hellfire at Alucard, who rapidly jumped back, smirking. Alucard fired more shots from the Jackal, tearing Ghost Rider up badly, but Ghost Rider was undamaged an instant later.

Ghost Rider then swung his chain at Alucard, hitting him with it and staggering him. Ghost Rider and Alucard both charged, and Alucard sent Ghost Rider flying, before getting hit with the chain again. Ghost Rider summoned the Hell motorcycle, mounting it. As Alucard approached, Ghost Rider rode into Alucard, picking him up and ramming through a wall. Alucard then vanished, sinking into the floor. Ghost Rider stood as Alucard reappeared in the office once more.  
"Releasing control art restrictions 3… 2... 1. Approval of situation A recognised. Commencing the Cromwell Invocation. Ability restrictions lifted for limited use until the enemy has been rendered silent."

Alucard then transformed, composing his body entirely of shadows, eyes appearing all over his body. Ghost Rider charged, as did Alucard. The two monsters started exchanging blows, until Alucard finally gripped Ghost Rider by the neck, holding him up. Ghost Rider attacked with the chain, but Alucard caught Ghost Rider's arm, breaking it and wresting the chain from his grip, right before the arm repaired itself. Alucard then thrust his hand through Ghost Rider's chest, and gripped Ghost Rider's skull, partially crushing it. Just as Alucard thought he had won, Ghost Rider blew hellfire into the vampire's face, before gripping the damaged vampire and pulling him closer.  
"Look into my eyes."

As Alucard's eyes met Ghost Rider's, he felt pain the like of which he had never experienced. Ghost Rider's Penance Stare inflicted all of Alucard's misdeeds as both Vlad the Impaler and Count Dracula back on him in an instant. Ghost Rider then removed Alucard's hands from himself, shoving the vampire onto his back. Alucard's face was frozen in a silent scream, and Seras rapidly ran to him, trying to help him.  
"Master! Can you hear me? It's Seras!"  
Seras called to him, but he didn't respond. Seras looked up, but Ghost Rider had already left.

On the way out, Ghost Rider found Walter Dornez, and rapidly administered the Penance Stare to him as well, leaving the double agent in the same state as Alucard. Ghost Rider then rapidly rode from the mansion, seeking out the next target, Major SS. Sturbanfuhrer, the leader of Millennium.

_Analysis:_

_Alucard and Ghost Rider both possess regeneration that renders most attacks useless. With two characters who can do that, it falls to which one can actually damage the other one. While Alucard is stronger and faster, it ultimately falls to the Penance Stare being the only way this fight can end. Seeing as Alucard has a long history of horrific actions, being Vlad Tepes, Ghost Rider's Penance Stare will have a massive effect on him. The opposite of Seras, who was mostly unaffected because she's never killed anyone or harmed any innocents. Just as a final note, the fact Alucard's shadowy form is covered with eyes may make it easier to use the Penance Stare on him._


	3. Seras Victoria vs Spiderman

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hellsing or Marvel Comics.**

"Mary Jane, I swear leaving webs all over your apartment was an accident!"  
Peter Parker spoke into the phone he held, hoping to convince Mary Jane to forgive him for making her apartment look like the home of a trapdoor spider. He had been making out with her when suddenly his webs started shooting everywhere.  
"No! Mary Jane, don't hang up!"

* * *

Seras Victoria stood at the edge of the darkened street, watching the flickering street light. As she wandered, several people moved past her, until suddenly a knife was pressed against her throat, while a hand gripped her hair.  
"Hey there, sweetcheeks! Why don't we go have us a nice time?"  
Seras elbowed the thug in the sternum, staggering him, before spinning around and flicking him, sending him flying onto his back with a broken nose.  
"No one likes a necrophiliac, you disgusting bastard!"

* * *

Integra Hellsing sat in her office, drinking her tea, when the phone rang. Her temporary assistant stepped forward, picking it up.  
"Sir Integra's office."  
The slightly built man quickly handed the phone to Integra.  
"It's Miss Victoria."

Integra took the phone.  
"What is it, Seras?"  
At the other end, Seras' gentle voice answered, "I've found the one you're suspicious of, Sir Integra. He seems to be alive, but I don't think he's human either. What are your orders, sir?"  
Integra smirked slightly. Seras was very different to Alucard, and Integra was uncertain whose personality was easier to work with.  
"Seras! That man is a suspect in vampire activities! It doesn't matter if you bring him back in one piece or fifty!"

* * *

Peter slumped down, grumbling.  
"I kinda think I'm gonna be grovelling for weeks over this."  
"Peter Parker?"  
Peter jumped up, and was shocked to see a girl about the same height as him, with short blond hair and red eyes, dressed in tight jeans and a dark shirt, standing in his window. She stepped into the apartment, looking at him.  
"Uh… Hello?" Stammered Peter, confused.  
The girl moved over to him, causing him to step back. She glared briefly into his face, before folding her arms.  
"You need to come with me. Sir Integra wants to speak with you. If you refuse, it's my job to force you to come with me."  
Peter shrugged. "Oh, I'm sure you just want me to join you for dinner and a movie. You're one very attractive girl, but I'm taken."  
The girl blushed, looking at the floor with discomfort. She then glared at him.  
"What is it with everyone being into me? Bugger off!"

Seras dashed at Peter, but he jumped over her, shooting a web onto her left foot and pinning it to the floor. Seras tried to follow Peter's movements, but her trapped foot stopped her. Peter stood by and watched as Seras struggled to free her foot, cursing in a somewhat unladylike way, made funnier by her thick English accent and clearly flustered tone of voice.

"Need any help from your friendly neighbourhood Spiderman? You got your foot stuck there, little lady?"  
Seras glared at him, before suddenly transforming her left arm into a tendril composed of shadows. Seras dashed at Spiderman, her tendril slashing the web on her foot. She lashed her tendril at Peter, but he jumped to the side, firing more webs at her, which she blocked with her tendril.

Peter watched as the tendril tossed the webbing aside, the webbing somehow not sticking to it. Seras then charged again, but Peter's Spider-Sense allowed him to dodge her attack, and he promptly fired webs around her knees and ankles, binding her legs together. He then placed a quick web across her torso, binding her right arm and her tendril to her sides. Seras struggled, but her arm and her legs were trapped. Peter attached a web line to her, taking her outside through the window she had entered through, with the idea of hanging her upside down from a streetlamp. Just as Peter was about to attach her feet to a web line and attach the other end to the top of a streetlight, her tendril suddenly flared to life, elongating to the point that it easily extended beyond the point the webs covered.

Peter dodged the tendril, jumping back. The tendril rapidly extended to cover a large part of the street, before suddenly morphing into wings, allowing Seras to fly at Peter at high speeds. Peter only just dodged, but Seras rapidly began attacking with the tendril, and Peter took several nasty hits. Peter jumped away from the tendril, but Seras sprang forward using her toes to propel herself towards Peter, and her tendril struck Peter with great force, spinning him around, before it hit him again, staggering him. Seras landed a final hit on Peter, knocking him onto his back, dazed.

Seras then looked at herself in the reflective glass window of a nearby shop.  
"Damn it! I'm a bloody caught fly! I'll never be able to call Sir Integra like this!"  
While Seras was throwing a tantrum, her tendril took the form of Pip, who reached into her pocket and extracted her phone.  
"Shall I dial the number or do you want to do it, Seras?"  
Seras ground her teeth. "As if I'm dialling a number like this!"  
Pip smirked. "Of course not." Pip then held up his hands, making fondling gestures with his fingers. "You want my help taking those webs off yourself? They seem pretty tight…"  
Seras hopped back, nearly tripping over the webs that bound her ankles. "Bugger off!"

_Analysis:_

_In sheer physical strength, there is little difference between these two. Both are around about the ten tons level. With his webs, Peter can briefly restrain the Hulk, so there is no denying that once Peter puts his webs around Seras, she isn't freeing herself. However, her tendril is too flexible and elastic to be so easily restrained, which leaves her best weapon free. _

_In speed, Seras is faster, being at least supersonic, but Peter's Spider-Sense allows him to keep pace with her regardless. In the end, the only big advantage from her speed is her superior striking force. Apart from that, neither is particularly advantaged in this fight, apart from Seras possessing seemingly deadlier attacks, though this may just be to do with Hellsing being a more violent series than Spiderman Comics. _

_In the end, it falls to which one can stop the other. With Seras' superior speed, Peter needs to dodge, and the only real way he can win is by either knocking her out or restraining her. If he goes with the knockout option, her superior speed and striking strength, along with her regeneration makes it likely she would knock him out first. Since the tendril can't be restrained, it became a matter of whether the tendril could knock out Peter before Peter could knock out Seras. With Seras' greater speed and the flexibility of the tendril, she is the likely winner._


	4. Hercule vs The Joker

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Dragon Ball Z or DC Comics.**

The building exploded, its bright light illuminating a cackling clown in a phone booth, who held a phone to his ear and was talking to it even though the chord was broken, and held the remote that had triggered the explosion in his other hand.  
"These exploding buildings always look lovely, don't you agree? Decorations anyone can appreciate!"

* * *

Hercule jumped as he saw the explosions. "Argh! It's those guys! The golden haired superheroes are fighting! Well, Mister Satan won't just sit back and watch. I am the world's saviour!"  
Hercule quickly ran to the building, where he found the Joker laughing.  
"Hey, you! You ain't seen any weird lookin' aliens or golden haired guys flyin' around have ya?"  
Joker laughed. "Nope. I just see a dead guy with a broken neck and a grenade down his throat."  
Hercule looked around, nervous about a grenade going off near him. "Where? Where is he?"  
"I'm talking about you, Mister Satan. I think I'll add a caved in skull to the list as well."

Hercule quickly struck a pose. "You ain't stoppin' me. I'm the world's best martial artist. I beat Cell! You can read about it anywhere, it's a famous story."  
Joker chuckled. "Oh, how silly of me, messing with the champion! Oh well. We'd better make the best of it."  
Joker rapidly pulled out a large pistol, pointed it at Hercule and pulled the trigger, causing Hercule to jump, but a horn blew, and a flag reading "bang!" popped out the end of the barrel.  
"Whoops! Wrong gun!"  
Joker tossed the fake gun to the ground, drawing his real gun and shooting at Hercule, but Hercule dodged, running towards Joker. Joker pointed the gun at Hercule and started pulling the trigger, but nothing happened. Hercule knew little about guns, but he knew the only problem was that Joker hadn't pulled the hammer back again, and therefore had no bullets ready, even though there were six in the gun. Joker quickly thought to pull the hammer back, but Hercule reached him just as he did, tearing the gun from his hand.

Joker rapidly squirted acid at Hercule from the flower on his suit, which Hercule promptly dropped to the ground to avoid, the acid flying over his head harmlessly. Hercule lay on the ground, his jaw quivering, when Joker pulled a long bladed knife.  
"Shish kebab time."  
Joker started to attack with the knife, but Hercule jumped backwards, flipping over and landing on his feet. Joker quickly tossed a grenade at Hercule, which blew up not far away from him. Hercule was sent flying, but was alive, and stood up quickly, now looking angry.  
"You blew up that building, didn't you? And how many people have you killed?"  
Joker started silently counting on his fingers, before shrugging.  
"Sorry, Satan-boy, but I think I lost count after I reached a thousand. Actually I don't think I ever kept count. I've just thought that it might be fun to add the world's hero to the body count. I may add that pretty little daughter of yours to it as well. Wiping out families is my favourite!"

Hercule ground his teeth, his fear vanishing. "Why? Why would you hurt my little Videl?"  
Joker smirked. "I think I might attach explosives to her and blow her up, or maybe I'll pound her to death with a blunt instrument! Maybe a saxophone!"  
Hercule slammed his foot down on the concrete, sending cracks through it.  
"No one hurts my little girl!"  
Hercule ran at high speeds to Joker, catching the Joker's wrist and breaking it, taking the knife from him. Joker continued to howl with laughter as Hercule beat him up with a combination of martial arts moves, rapidly reducing the clown to a walking purple bruise. Hercule landed the final kick on the bruised clown, launching him onto the ground. The laughing Joker started to stand, only to receive a sharp kick to the face from Hercule.  
"And that's what happens when you mess with the people of Earth, or my little girl! I am the martial arts champion!"

_Analysis:_

_While Joker has weapons which are rather deadly, in particular the gun, Hercule showed when he bested the man who shot the dog that he can dodge the aim of a shooter. Even if we decide the gun is hard to get past, Hercule also has a gun, though we don't know if he always carries it. In the end, even if we decide the gun could win the fight for Joker, which it won't, it would be perfectly reasonable to let Hercule have the .45 he tried to kill Buu with in that situation. _

_Once Hercule gets to close range, he has every advantage, the only restraining factor being how timid he tends to be towards dangerous enemies. However, once Joker threatened Videl, something quite in character for a sadist like the Joker, Hercule's fear will vanish, much like he was willing to attack Kid Buu to protect the Good Buu. In closing, Hercule's flashback of his victory over Spopovich, and several of the moves he displays while trying to act powerful are proof that he does in fact know various martial arts. This altogether indicates that once Hercule's angry, he can beat the Joker up quite effectively._


	5. Yasutora (Chad) Sado vs Spiderman

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Bleach or Marvel Comics.**

Peter Parker lay on his bed. He still wore the bottom part of his Spiderman costume, and was bare on top. He had just gotten back from a day out with Mary Jane, and he was pleased to be back on good terms with her. She had been angry at him for falling asleep stuck to her wall, something which had caused her much discomfort, sleeping with him asleep on her wall. Peter had actually done it as a joke, but had made a mistake and actually fallen asleep while attached to her wall.  
"Oh, I'm back in the saddle again…"

* * *

Peter woke with a start. He had fallen asleep on his bed, but now he was being woken up by the sound of violence outside. He rapidly stood up, looking out the window to see a big young man with dark hair and a strange purple right arm swinging that arm at the air and acting like he had hit something. Seeing the damage around the young man, Peter rapidly put on his costume, before jumping out the window and up onto the roof. Spiderman then dropped down from the roof, landing on the ground as if he had just arrived.  
"Hey there, Hulk junior! Don't suppose you could take your war games somewhere else?"

* * *

Chad slammed the fist of Brazo Derecha De Gigante into the mask of a hollow, shattering the mask, before he quickly shattered the hollow's head. He stood over the last of the Hollows, and jumped when a high pitched voice suddenly said,  
"Hey there, Hulk junior! Don't suppose you could take your war games somewhere else?"  
Chad quickly spun around, glaring at the man who had spoken, but Spiderman had already jumped on him and was wrapping webs around him. Spiderman jumped back, having wrapped Chad's torso, pinning both his arms.  
"Let me go."  
Chad couldn't break the webs with Brazo Derecha De Gigante, but he had another weapon. He rapidly released greater power, his left arm becoming an almost skeletal white arm, a distinct contrast to his dark purple right arm. Brazo Izquierda Del Diablo released a burst of energy, vapourising the webs.

Chad attacked Spiderman, moving quickly, but Spiderman's Spider-Sense saved him, allowing him to dodge the attack and fire webs onto Chad's feet. Chad quickly hit the webs with a small energy blast, and attacked Spiderman again. Spiderman dodged, jumping up behind Chad, but Chad turned to face him in midair.  
"El Directo!"  
Chad fired a burst of energy from his purple right arm, launching Peter against a building. Chad then held up his white left arm, Brazo Izquierda Del Diablo.  
"La Muerte."

Chad held up his left hand, a ball of energy appearing on the end of each finger. He then closed the hand into a fist, and pulled back the white arm, instantly appearing in front of Peter. However, he stopped, holding the attack back.  
"This attack would kill you. La Muerte is far more deadly… than anything else I can do."

Chad changed his arms back to normal, holding out his hand to Peter, who took the hand, allowing Chad to help him to his feet.  
"Are you okay? If you need help getting to the hospital… I can carry you there."  
Peter shook his head, waving his arms emphatically, "Whao! No hospital! I'm fine, really! Thanks anyway!"

_Analysis:_

_In sheer strength, the edge clearly goes to Chad, same with speed, since he showed an ability to keep up with a Sonido. Peter's Spider-Sense will somewhat close the speed gap, but only so much. Then it falls to which can do more damage. While the webs could restrain Chad somewhat, once Brazo Izquierda Del Diablo came into play, he could free himself with its energy attacks. _

_With restraining Chad not being an option for Spiderman, it falls to who will knock out who first, and Chad has a clear advantage on this front. Peter's Spider-Sense could only delay the inevitable against the strength, speed, durability and power advantage Chad has. Factor in El Directo's range, and Chad has a good chance of landing a hit fairly quickly. _


	6. Vampire Hunter D vs Hulk

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Vampire Hunter D or Marvel Comics.**

The black horse rose into the ruined town, the rider's long coat trailing behind the horse. The horse stopped suddenly in front of a large house, and the rider dismounted. Several people looked at him as he entered. They had heard a hunter was coming, and his height alone was unusual. They would have been less impressed by his size if he had taken his coat off and shown them he was in fact not very muscular at all, but he had no intention of taking his coat off, certainly not while the Sun was out.

He walked to the door and knocked, and was surprised when it opened under his knock, having been left ajar. He went inside and found a fine front foyer, with a large chandelier and a table with flowers in the middle, and a large staircase leading upstairs. As he admired the room, he suddenly reached out with his hand, catching the hand of a man who was about to hold a knife to his back.  
"You should know that won't kill me anyway."  
"Christopher! Relax!" Said a voice.  
The man behind D dropped the knife, and D let him go. The man then collected the knife, holding it with two fingers to show he wasn't going to use it. D was no longer interested in Christopher though. At the top of the stairs stood a man in his fifties, who held a stick in his left hand, seemingly supporting an injured left leg.

"Please forgive Christopher. He means no harm."  
D remained expressionless, but responded, "I take no offense. Why did you call me here?"  
The man nodded respectfully. "Straight to business. I like that. A monster came through this town the other day. He tore the town apart, and he killed several townspeople. The damage you see outside was done by him."  
D remained stock still, but said, "I need to know where he went, and what he looked like. Simply saying monster tells me nothing."

The man held up a folder, and tossed it to D, who casually caught it one handed.  
"That contains pictures of the monster, and pictures of some of the things he did. He was last seen headed towards the mountains behind our town. In fact, that's probably where he was headed when he came through here."  
D had already opened the folder and was looking at the pictures. The monster was green and humanoid, had only one mouth, only four limbs, and seemed entirely corporeal.  
"I haven't seen a creature like this before, but I can do the job. How much are you willing to pay?"  
"We'll pay you one million dollars. Several townspeople pitched in. We're a mining town, thanks to that mountain, so we're pretty rich."

D narrowed his eyes. "This isn't about the damage he did, is it? This is about him taking the mountain."  
The man sighed. "Yes, you're right. That mountain provides our mine, which is our wealth."  
"Tell me… He didn't do that damage in retaliation to you attacking him first, did he?"  
The man shifted his footing uncomfortably, before sighing again.  
"Like I say, that mountain's our livelihood. Your job's simple. We pay you, you kill him."  
D closed the folder. "In that case… I won't do it."  
The man took a step forward. "Please! We need our mine!"  
D stared at the man coldly. "I'll clear him out, but you're paying me more than a million. Ten million is my price."

* * *

Bruce Banner sat in the caves, quivering. It was cold in these mountains. People had hunted Hulk to these mountains, and Banner knew Hulk could hide here for a while, but he would be leaving soon. He suddenly heard something. He listened, and realised it was a horse. Banner stood, and in moments Hulk stood where Banner had been. "Hulk smash horse man!"

* * *

D stood in the darkness of the mine. He had left his horse close to the entrance, so as to keep it out of danger, and also because he knew he would need his mobility. Just as he heard a growling sound, he jumped aside and avoided a charging Hulk, watching as Hulk smashed through a large mass of rock. Hulk stood, and dashed at D. D rapidly looked around the tunnel. In this narrow space, he couldn't manoeuvre, and in sheer strength, he could already tell Hulk could best him. Hulk tearing through the entire tunnel wall and literally widening the tunnel meant that Hulk's hits were the kind D didn't want hitting him.

As Hulk charged, D planned his actions. He couldn't outrun Hulk, and with no space to manoeuvre he couldn't dodge, which left him with the task of taking the fight outside. D ran up to Hulk, jumping above him, so that Hulk slammed into D, forcing him through the rock above him. D was launched through several dozen metres of rock, before breaking out of the rock and into the upper part of the mine, which was an open space. D's cuts from being forced through the rock healed, but his coat was mostly shredded.  
"Hey! Don't go making reckless moves like that!" Cried Lefty, the face on D's left palm. "If he smashes you to pieces, I die too! Doesn't mean much coming from a parasite, I know, but you have to…"  
"Quiet." Interjected D. D needed to listen so he'd know where Hulk would come through, so he couldn't have Lefty talking in the background. D listened closely, and he heard the sound of splitting stone, signalling Hulk would come up under D. D rapidly dived to the side, watching as Hulk appeared in a shower of splintered stone. "Hulk smash pointy hat man!"  
D gripped his sword, looking coldly at the angry Hulk. Hulk charged at D, and D charged also, ignoring Lefty's terrified cries. The cloaked hunter and the green monster slammed into each other, before they both bounced back. D landed on his back, and started cracking his spine to help it mend itself. Hulk only stumbled backwards, but then he fell onto his back, suddenly bleeding from several very deep cuts. D stood, his spine mended, and stood over Hulk, watching as the groaning Hulk reverted to Banner.

* * *

Banner groaned as he woke up. He turned on his side to see the cloaked hunter lying a few feet from him, his hat over his face.  
"How are you feeling?" Asked D, with his hat still over his face.  
Banner lifted his shirt, beholding three long lines of stitches on his stomach.  
"I'd say I've been better."  
D lifted his hat, sitting up. "I made sure to cut you in non-fatal areas, and I only delayed Hulk's regeneration. You won't need those stitches for long. After you transform, your healing will fix all of that."  
Banner lowered his shirt, leaning back. "Thanks. So I guess you can get past regeneration?"  
D didn't answer, merely laying back down and covering his face with his hat again.  
"We'll both leave when it's dark. I'll take you a distance away from here, and then we'll part ways. You should be able to find another mountain or cave. One with cleaner air. We only have my horse for transport, so you'll have to ride with me, and I'll drop you off at a nearby city."  
Banner sighed. "That sounds fair."

_Analysis:_

_While Hulk has greater strength and durability, and greater running speed, D's reactions and attack speed are such that he can cut lightning bolts in half, so he could certainly land several blows on the Hulk before Hulk can defend himself. D also has an ability to lessen or outright negate the regeneration of those he cuts with his sword, which would mean he could make the cuts he gives Hulk stay unhealed for several months or permanently if he chose, meaning he can wound and even kill Hulk. _

_Finally, while he doesn't match Hulk physically, he has been shown to take the electricity for an entire city through his body with little damage, so he can survive hits from Hulk, hence why he can withstand Hulk shoving him through the walls of the mine. In closing, we have D's tactical approach to battle. He often fights beings stronger than him, and has a battle history dating back thousands of years. _


	7. Alexander Anderson vs Wolverine

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hellsing or Marvel, the X-Men, the Avengers, or any of the numerous comics Wolverine has managed to appear in.**

The door crept open slowly, causing a slight creak. To most people, it was inaudible, but to the sleeping Logan, it was quite loud. Logan slowly extended his Adamantium claws, ready to defend himself. He could hear gentle footsteps as someone approached his bed. They were small, and he guessed it was either a woman or a young male. As a light breeze entered through the window, the intruder's scent was blown to Logan's nose, and he sighed with relief.  
"I almost skewered you, kid. Don't sneak up on me like that."  
"Sorry, Logan. Wasn't sure you were asleep." Answered Rogue.

Logan retracted his claws and sat up. "What's up, kid?"  
"Storm sent me to wake you. Cyclops was meant to do it, but I did it instead. I thought you might kill him then say it was an accident." She smiled as she said this.  
Logan chuckled. "Really tempting, but I don't think so. I might kick his ass outta the room though."

* * *

Father Alexander Anderson stood among the remains of several mutants. He held a phone to his ear, while his other hand held three silver bayonets dripping with blood.  
"Yes sir. The mutants have tried to kill me twice already. You didn't send me to kill small fry."  
Maxwell's voice on the other end answered. "Of course, Anderson. These creatures are like cockroaches. They keep coming back, so the only way to kill them is to fumigate the nest. The one in charge of the local mutant operation is a man named Charles Xavier, and you can find him in the mansion, which we have just sent you the address for. He is a wheelchair-bound cripple, but he can control minds. Such an ability in the hands of an abomination is in itself an abomination to God. You are the instrument of divine judgement, Anderson. Divine punishment, with its righteous hammer shalt smite them. Amen."

* * *

Wolverine sat in the office of Charles Xavier.  
"So, someone's killing mutants in the area?"  
"This is no military operation, Logan. These mutants were killed with blades, apart from one, who was broken apart with bare hands. They were found filled with blades, cut to pieces, and two were even found crucified. We are dealing with a very sadistic killer."  
Logan sighed, chewing on a cigar he had forgotten to light. "So you want me to kill this sick son of a bitch."  
"So you can go thirty seconds without cursing. New record." Said Cyclops.  
"Two mutants were crucified and decapitated less than a day ago, Scott. This is no joke." Said Charles.

* * *

Anderson saw the mansion. It was large, but it was nothing compared to the Vatican.  
"As always with the devil's works. Large, but insignificant compared to those of the Lord."  
Anderson punched the door off its hinges, and stormed into the mansion.

* * *

Charles stiffened, and after a few seconds, Logan heard a breaking sound from downstairs. Logan jumped up and ran to the door, shoving Scott aside easily and running towards the disturbance.

* * *

Anderson pushed a child aside. "Stay aside, child. And tell the other children to do the same. The unholy monsters who run this place must die, but children can be saved in the good care of the church, species notwithstanding. If Maxwell 'as a problem with me lettin' children live, 'e can honestly kiss my arse, because I answer to God before I answer to Maxwell."  
The terrified child ran away, just as Logan appeared, Rogue close behind. The child ran to Rogue, hugging her.  
"Take him to the professor, kid. And get all the other children to the professor as well. He can protect them if this shithead gets past me."  
Rogue nodded. "Okay, Logan, but promise me something. Stop him, and don't get hurt."  
As Rogue took the child away, Logan smiled. "She's a sweet kid. As if this douchebag could hurt me."

Anderson watched this exchange, and smiled slightly. "We are the servants of God, and the hammer that smites the unworthy. We are apostles, yet not apostles. We are the soldiers of Iscariot, we are Judas Iscariot!"  
Logan chuckled. "Shut up. Out of all the disciples, why commit to the only evil one?"  
Anderson smirked, his aggression mounting. "How little you know of the truth, mutant scum."  
Wolverine shrugged, extending his claws. "I don't know if I believe in God, but I'm pretty sure he wouldn't condone you attacking children."  
Anderson slowly readied a bayonet, still smirking. "Don't you dare presume to speak to me about God's will!"

Anderson suddenly flung a series of bayonets at Wolverine, filling him with them and leaving him bristling with bayonets. Wolverine fell backwards, sighing.  
"Blessed silver severely harms the impure. Time to die, you monster."  
Wolverine casually stood up, using his claws to cut the handles from all the bayonets, then flexing his muscles, his healing forcing the blades out of his body.  
"What was that? I think I dozed off."

Anderson charged at Logan, picking him up and running to the back of the ground floor, slamming Logan into the wall, leaving an indent in it. Logan swept his claws across Anderson's face, and Anderson jumped back, before suddenly flashing forward and punching Logan, smashing the wall behind Logan and launching him through it. Logan stood up on the other side, cracking his neck.  
"Nice wall renovation, dude. I never liked that wallpaper anyway."

Logan observed that Anderson's face had healed.  
_Another regenerator. So why did he get so scared when I cut him?_  
Anderson suddenly dashed forward, swinging two bayonets at Logan. Logan was unable to block the bayonets, and the blades hit him, cutting him deeply and leaving blood everywhere, but each bayonet shattered when it hit his skeleton. Wolverine attacked with his claws, but Anderson easily avoided the strike, before gripping Logan by the shoulder and forcing him against the wall, sticking two bayonets through his hands and into the wall, the blades slipping between the bones in his hands.

Anderson raised more bayonets, rapidly slamming several of them through Wolverine's ribcage, slipping the blades between his ribs. Anderson then raised two more blades.  
"You are nae Alucard. You can nae survive havin' yer head slashed off!"  
Anderson swung the bayonets at Wolverine's neck from both sides. He started with horror as the blades broke the skin, but broke on the neck bone. Anderson rapidly gripped Wolverine, trying to manually tear his head off.  
"Die! Ya ungodly scum!"

As Anderson had started trying to tear his head off, Logan was piecing things together, remembering things Anderson had said.  
_He said I was no… Alucard, that I couldn't survive my head bein' taken off… He also jumped back when I started cuttin' him with my claws when he had me by the neck… That's it! I can cut him with my claws, and his regeneration ain't gonna save him from decapitation!_

Logan pulled his hands free, ignoring the pain as the bayonets cut his hands in half. Logan extended his claws, ignoring the extra pain when the claws cut through most of his damaged hand. Logan then promptly slashed straight through the neck of the distracted, surprised Anderson. Anderson dropped to the floor, his head hanging from a shred of skin. Wolverine, still stuck to the wall, threw one of Anderson's bayonets which had been through his left hand at Anderson's head, separating it from his body completely. As Anderson watched his body become distant, he was able to think one thing before he faded from consciousness.  
_The children are playing… Amen._

Rogue returned, seeing Anderson dead. She then turned to Logan, who was still nailed to the wall with several dozen bayonets.  
"Are you okay, Logan?"  
Logan laughed. "I'm fine, kid, only problem is, that bastard was tall like Colossus, and I'm a short-ass, so I can't get down. He lifted me up to his own eye level. Don't suppose you could bring in a crane to get me down? Or Colossus, he'll do."  
Rogue smiled, while Logan continued laughing, both of them pleased that the threat was over.

_Analysis:_

_This one was very two sided. There is no denying Anderson has a huge advantage in physical power and speed, being able to contend with Alucard, which is why him easily throwing Logan around makes perfect sense, but despite that, Anderson is at a disadvantage in terms of landing a finishing blow. His bayonets are shown to break when Integra shoots them with a large pistol, so they are nowhere near as solid as Logan's claws or skeleton. _

_In the end, the only way Anderson could conceivably land a killing blow is by physically removing Wolverine's head, which it's doubtful he can do at all, and certainly not easily. Logan will have great difficulty, since he is physically outclassed by a very significant margin, but once he lands a good blow with the claws, it's over, since base Anderson's regeneration is neither total like Alucard's or adaptive like Wolverine's._


	8. Rias Gremory vs Zatanna

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own High School DxD or DC Comics.**

Rias stood in the shower, feeling refreshed. She had had a difficult day, and the water felt almost divine at this point. She heard Akeno speaking outside, before Akeno called out to her. Rias responded, and turned off the water, stepping outside, not bothered by the fact she was walking out into the club room naked, since Issei wasn't there, only Akeno and Koneko, two girls, and the A-sexual Kiba, the only boy in the room, Rias had no one looking at her assets at all.

"What's wrong?"  
Akeno leaned forward, concerned. "Asia hasn't returned from her latest summon. We think something may have happened."  
"Issei's not around, so the four of us should go. Akeno, the portal, please."

* * *

Asia sat on the cabinet, unfazed by the sword holes in it.  
"That's a cool trick! How did you put swords in without killing me?"  
"A good magician never reveals her secrets." Answered Zatanna.  
Asia smiled, impressed. "Do you have any other tricks?"  
Zatanna smirked. "You ever been sawn in half or made invisible before?"

* * *

Rias stepped through the gateway, and saw Asia lying on her back on a table, looking nervous, with her middle torso and upper hips in a box, which had a saw working through it. A woman in a black magician's outfit stood over the box, holding the saw. Rias held up her hand.  
"Let her go!"  
Zatanna jumped, looking at Rias. "Something wrong?"  
Kiba ran past the box, extracting Asia and running back through the gateway, giving her to Koneko to hold.

Rias stepped forward, placing Kiba and Akeno behind her.  
"You three go. I'll deal with this."  
Zatanna chuckled, readying a magic wand. Rias glared at her.  
"No one attempts to kill one of my beloved servants and goes unpunished! I will kill you."  
Zatanna pointed her finger at Rias. "Erif." A burst of fire flew from her hand and launched at Rias, but Rias blocked it with a spell of her own, jumping with shock when the spell ripped a small strip from her shirt and set the bottom of her skirt smouldering.  
_That is one powerful attack spell…_

Rias held up her hands, firing red energy at Zatanna, who blocked the attacks, though she was getting affected by the splash damage. Zatanna was not durable enough to handle being hit with many of Rias' spells. However, the same held true for Rias. Rias was more durable, but Zatanna had stronger attacks. Whoever hit the other first would win. Rias rapidly prepared her wings and flew upwards to the sky, shooting blasts downwards at Zatanna. To her shock, Zatanna sent them aside, before waving her hand. "Gnintighil!" She incanted, causing a burst of lightning to strike Rias from above, setting her uniform ablaze and sending her plummeting to the ground.

As Rias was about to hit the ground, Zatanna incanted, "Retaw." As she said this, it rained heavily for a few seconds, dousing the fire. An exhausted Rias groaned as she struggled to stand. Zatanna leaned over her.  
"You ruined my rehearsal. I summoned Asia because I needed an assistant. Thing is, I kinda need to rehearse now…"

* * *

Rias woke slowly. She wasn't in pain, but she felt trapped, and there was someone nearby. She opened her eyes fully, and looked around to see a red curtain. She was lying on her back, a box around her upper hips and lower torso. Her legs were out one end, and her head and shoulders stuck out the other. She realised she was in a magician's box, the same one Asia had been in. She jumped when Zatanna appeared.  
"Hey! You're awake. I've got a show in a sec, so I need you to cooperate. With Asia not here, you gotta be my assistant."  
Rias glared at the box, and started to shake her head emphatically.  
"You are not cutting me in half!"  
Zatanna smirked. "It's not like you can stop me. Come on, be my assistant once, and you might get a pact out of it."  
Rias suddenly calmed, not because of the false promise of a pact, but because she had put together what was happening. Asia had never been harmed, and Rias wouldn't be either. Now that she thought about it, the sawing in half trick had amused her once, and she was curious about how a magician did it. Rias sighed, before giving a half smile.  
"Just once. And I'd better not get any real injuries."

The curtain opened, exposing an audience, and Zatanna rapidly shoved the two halves of the box apart and placed them beside each other, so that Rias was looking sideways at her own legs.  
"You! You already cut me in half! What if I said no?!"  
Rias tried to free herself from the box, but it was no illusion. Her legs and hips really were separate from her torso.  
"You smartass!"

* * *

The door to the clubhouse opened, and Rias walked in. Everyone greeted her happily.  
"President!" Cried Issei. "Are you okay?"  
Rias shrugged. "I'm fine. She's actually a pretty fun person. And I learned how the sawing in half trick works. The saw's irrelevant. It's just for show. Funny the things you learn when you hang with a magician!"

_Analysis: _

_There are two incarnations of Zatanna, and obviously the New Earth one is too strong, having power more at a level with Phoenix than Rias. Therefore, the Prime Earth one, which is the current one, was used. _

_Zatanna has more variation than Rias, since Zatanna can summon several elements, and can manipulate the natural elements as well, allowing her to hit Rias with lightning from above. It is likely Rias would be taken off guard by attacks like that, and Zatanna also has defensive magic and more powerful attacks. The only advantage Rias has is her ability to fly, and the lightning and defensive power counter that advantage._


	9. Goku vs Thor

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Dragon Ball Z or Marvel Comics.**

The storm clouds parted, and Thor descended through them, holding his spinning hammer. Thor saw the field where the energy source was coming from. The energy source was unbelievable. Thor had sensed it on Asgard, such was its power. Thor watched as a burst of yellow energy appeared on the field, and a cloud of dust was kicked up.  
"Such power! It must pose a threat to Midgard!"

* * *

Goku watched as the Ki blast he fired kicked up a dust cloud and smashed a small rock. AAs he was about to fire another one, he stiffened, before gripping his head.  
"That's not Ki... It's something else."  
Suddenly, Goku vanished, narrowly avoiding the impact of Thor's hammer, which split the ground and shattered distant mountains. Goku appeared in the air, sighing with relief.  
_What a hit! If that hit me while I wasn't powered up, it'd probably kill me!_

Thor turned to regard Goku, spinning his hammer in preparation to attack, before suddenly sighing with relief when he saw Goku.  
"Son Goku! I apologise, I did not know it was thee."  
Goku lowered himself to the ground cautiously.  
"Do I know you?"  
Thor shook his head. "Thou dost not know me, but I have witnessed thou victories in battle over foul monsters. I am Thor, and I apologise for attacking thee. We are not enemies."

Goku shrugged. "It's okay. Most of my friends have hit me at some point. Even my wife."  
Thor started to move closer, before he bowed slightly, just a tip of his head. Goku knew what a bow of that kind symbolised. It meant respect, but not submission or reverence. Goku was pleased with that, so he matched Thor's bow, showing mutual respect and a status as equals.  
Goku suddenly had a thought. "I could use some training. Could we spar, Thor?"  
Thor narrowed his eyes. "Certainly, but I don't advise it. Few mortals can stand up to an Asgardian in battle. It is nothing to be ashamed of."  
Goku shrugged. "This isn't about who's stronger. It's just training. What do ya say?"  
Thor nodded. "Very well."

Thor started spinning his hammer again, and Goku rapidly powered up to Super Saiyan. Thor dashed at Goku, flinging his hammer and catching it so as to launch himself. Goku focused all his Ki into his right hand and hit the hammer, the resulting force launching both warriors back. Thor stood and picked up his hammer, while Goku landed on his feet, but was jumping around clutching his throbbing hand. Thor respectfully sat down while Goku blew on his hand, before finally returning to his fighting stance.  
"Sorry about that. I didn't expect that hammer of yours to be that hard to knock aside. You're faster than light, right?"  
Thor nodded. "Mjolnir spins at six times the speed of light. I usually launch myself at a mere three times, but I can reach ten. Tony Stark helped me calculate it."  
Goku looked confused. "All these numbers and names… You're sayin' you're ten times faster than light?"  
Thor thought about it, and shrugged. "Perhaps."  
Goku smiled. It was a rough smile, but it was full of warmth. It reminded Thor of Captain America.  
"Ten times faster than light, that's… pretty fast. And you're real strong. Alright. This should be good training then. I think I might lose physically, so I got another idea."

Goku flew into the sky, and Thor spun his hammer and threw himself after Goku. Both warriors stopped in the low atmosphere, Goku casually standing in thin air, while Thor spun his hammer to keep himself airborne. Goku suddenly flew at Thor, dodging the spinning hammer and attacking Thor from the side. Goku hit Thor repeatedly before Thor hit him back with his fist, sending him reeling. Goku stopped himself, and faced Thor.  
_Just as I thought. He's stronger than me physically, and his hammer's faster than me, but he's not quite as fast in reactions. If I use my agility, he'll have trouble hitting me. Just like he did then. I gotta stay mobile. My agility's my best advantage here. If he hits me more than a few times with that hammer, I'm finished.  
_

Goku suddenly appeared beside Thor, and started striking him. Thor swung the hammer at Goku, but Goku dived aside. The hammer was faster than Goku, but Goku could tell when it was coming by Thor's muscles tightening. Goku could dodge it. Thor started swinging his hammer at Goku, kicking up a small hurricane with the spinning hammer. Goku jumped back, and quickly fired a Ki blast at Thor, which dissipated on the spinning head. Goku had expected this, so it didn't bother him. As Thor started to spin the hammer at his side, Goku quickly used Instant Transmission to appear in another place. He watched as Thor flew through the air Goku had been in earlier, and the snapping sound as the hammer's head hit a small raincloud told Goku that he did not want to get hit by that strike.

Thor stopped, and held up his hammer, lightning arcing across the head from the sky. Goku started.  
_He controls lightning?!_  
Thor sent a bolt of lightning at Goku, which Goku blocked with a Ki blast. Goku could defend against the lightning, but it complicated matters. The heat of Thor's lightning would damage Goku immensely if it hit him. Thor starting spinning his hammer again, lightning still pulsing through it. As Thor prepare to combine his physical attacks with his lightning, Goku charged a Kamehameha. As Thor charged, Goku fired the beam, before vanishing and appearing in another place. Thor flew through the area Goku had been in, and turned to face Goku, still wielding a spinning hammer with lightning.

Goku and Thor flew at each other again, Goku dodging the charge and firing a Ki blast at Thor from the side, launching him to the ground. Thor flew downwards, impacting on the ground at massive speeds which shook the Earth itself. Goku flew quickly down, slamming into Thor as he stood up. The strike slammed both Thor and Goku through the ground and into an underground cave. Thor suddenly gripped Goku, holding him up and slamming the hammer into his face, launching him to the back of the cavern. Goku slammed into the wall of the cave, smashing straight through it. Thor raised his hammer and covered it with lightning, preparing for Goku to reappear.

Goku shoved several large rocks aside, and found himself in another part of the cave, obviously part of a network. Goku wiped blood off his face, where Thor's hammer had broken his nose and several teeth.  
_Agility ain't enough… And my blasts ain't doing enough either. Gotta step up my game, or I'm gonna lose this.  
_Goku flew from the place he was in, slamming into Thor and picking him up. Goku quickly transformed into Super Saiyan God, and literally felt his speed increase as he forced Thor through the roof of the cave and into the sky. Thor raised his hammer and engulfed the hammer in lightning, but Goku saw the lightning flash, and jumped back, firing an instant Kamehameha wave at Thor and launching him higher into the sky. Thor reached the atmosphere and stopped, before suddenly flying forward at speeds Goku was unable to react to, but luckily Goku had seen him start spinning his hammer first.

Goku dodged the attack, before slamming into Thor from above. Goku quickly fired multiple Ki blasts at Thor at close range, tearing apart the Asgardian's armour. Thor was damaged, but he finally knew what Goku was doing. Goku was taking advantage of the fact Thor needed to spin his hammer to fly, which gave Goku prior warning. Thor suddenly launched Mjolnir at Goku without spinning it, hitting Goku with it. Goku was sent back, and he felt one of his ribs crack. Goku watched as Thor caught the hammer and starting spinning it. Thor launched himself forward, but Goku still dodged it.

Thor stopped himself and turned to face Goku. Thor knew that Goku was keeping ahead of him. Goku had taken more damage, but he was the one who had a plan, and Thor had only landed the hits he had because Goku hadn't expected them. As Goku flew at Thor, Thor dashed without spinning the hammer, but Goku dodged to the side, kicking Thor in the side, causing the Asgardian to grunt. Now that Goku was in Super Saiyan God form, his hits hurt a lot more. Goku quickly hit Thor with several Ki blasts, shaking him. Thor called down the lightning, and spun his hammer in front of Goku, hitting him once and sending him flying back. As Goku returned to action, he felt his back crack slightly. Thor's hit had hurt him a lot.

Goku charged at Thor, but Thor caught Goku with his hand, squeezing his neck. Thor then spun himself around with the hammer, hitting Goku with the hammer. Thor fired lightning at Goku, but Goku blocked the bolts with his blasts. An exhausted Goku hit the ground, smashing a rock formation on landing. He started to stand, feeling the Super Saiyan God transformation end. Thor flew back to the ground, landing in front of Goku. Goku powered up to Super Saiyan once more, and flew at Thor, but Thor struck him back to the ground with the hammer, before dropping the hammer on Goku's chest. Goku gripped the hammer, before lightning arced through his fingers, and Goku lifted the hammer off himself.

Goku dropped the hammer, facing Thor, who looked very impressed. Goku charged, but Thor recalled his hammer, shooting lightning at Goku and knocking him to the ground again. Thor stood over the tired Goku, before holding out his hand, which Goku gladly took, allowing Thor to help him to his feet. Goku stepped away from Thor, cracking his neck.  
"I can still go. You up for another round?"  
Thor looked at Goku in amazement.  
"You wish for more?"  
Goku dashed at Thor, picking him up and flying into the sky with him. The startled Thor was unprepared, and dropped his hammer. Goku fired a Ki blast at close range, launching Thor through the sky. Goku dropped back to the ground, picking up the hammer. As he did so, the hammer pulled from his grip and flew towards Thor, who caught it. Thor spun it and launched himself back towards Goku.

Goku fired a Ki blast at the approaching Asgardian, and the blast and the hammer collided, creating an explosion. Thor flew out of the explosion and slammed into Goku, forcing him to the ground. Goku coughed, before sighing. He was exhausted now. He could keep fighting, but he knew at this point Thor could kill him if he chose. Goku shrugged, before smiling. Thor stood, and Goku stood also. The two warriors shook hands, before both of them took a look at themselves and realised how bad they both looked.  
"We better get us some Senzu beans. We both need 'em."

_Analysis: _

_This is a two sided fight. Thor clearly holds the edge in physical strength, and his hammerthrow flight style is faster than Goku, but the obvious impracticalities of such a flying style will give Goku an advantage, especially since Thor's reactions seem slower than his hammer flight. Thor is often regarded as a terrible tactician, tending to focus more on crushing tactics, which, while Goku's attacks are often similar, will give Goku an advantage to somewhat overcome the physical advantage Thor has. Goku showed an ability to use his enemy's weaknesses effectively when he used Frieza's inability to sense Ki to get the jump on him. _

_Once Goku establishes that Thor's attacks all start with him spinning the hammer, Goku will be able to dodge them regardless of Thor being faster. Once Goku has these strategies down, Thor's poor tactical skills will leave him at a loss to attack Goku since he won't think up a new approach or a counter tactic very quickly, which will allow Goku to hit him a great many times. _

_However, Goku's hits will not damage Thor as badly as he would need them to. While his attacks could damage Thor a lot, it becomes a matter of which one of the following happens first:  
1. Goku tires out, leaving Thor able to hit him.  
2. Goku's attacks bring Thor down over time.  
3. Thor finds a way to counter Goku's tactics and lands the hits he needs._

_It would be likely Thor would land a hit before Goku brought him down, but the real decider is the fact that the Super Saiyan God form is so limited, and Goku's stamina remains lower than Thor's even after Battle of Gods. In the end, the likely result is that Goku tires out and can no longer stay ahead of Thor's superior speed. Thor's attacks at that point will obviously damage Goku greatly. Even without that, the chances are still slightly in Thor's favour since it's likely he'll get a hit in before Goku beats him, especially with Goku's strength depleting. _

_Another thing to consider is that Goku could certainly lift Thor's hammer, since he is completely pure and heroic. Add in the fact he's a god too and it's inescapable that he could lift the hammer. That means Thor can not pin him with it._


	10. Ichigo Kurosaki vs Spawn

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Bleach or Image Comics. **

Ichigo sat in class, Rukia next to him. Orihime and Tatsuki looked briefly at him, and Chad sat several seats behind him. Keigo was looking deflated, having just been told by Mizuiro that his girlfriend's little sister was not available to anyone who didn't have a car. Chizeru also looked deflated, having taken a kick to the face and then another kick to the backside from Tatsuki when she had tried to proposition Orihime.

As Ichigo started to daydream, Rukia's pager beeped, sending her a message warning her that hollows were nearby. Ichigo quickly placed Kon's Konpaku into his mouth, leaving his body and letting a delighted Kon take his body. Ichigo ran from the room, nodding to Chad, Uryu, Orihime, Tatsuki, Keigo, Mizuiro and Rukia, the only people in the room who could still see him.

* * *

Spawn held up two hollows by their heads, crushing their masks and heads by clenching his fists. Another hollow charged, but Spawn's chains rapidly punched holes through it. The chains then flung a chunk of that hollow's mask at another hollow, smashing its face.  
"You losers are wastin' my time."

* * *

Ichigo arrived at the place where Rukia's pager had sensed the hollows, but there was only one creature on the street. It looked like a hollow, and yet it didn't. Ichigo couldn't tell what it was. The creature turned to him.  
"Hey, you. Get the fuck outta here. This ain't no freak show. Get lost or I'm gonna kick your ass."  
Ichigo smirked. "Oh really? Is that so? I should warn you that Soul Reapers don't take orders from hollows. We kill them."  
The creature folded its arms.  
"Soul Reaper, eh? You must be new, because I already met most of the top Soul Reapers. I like Head Captain Yamamoto and his seconds Shunsui and Ukitake. I think you're just a pain in the ass though. What's your name kid?"  
Ichigo readied his sword.  
"I'm Ichigo Kurosaki, substitute Soul Reaper."

"Spawn. My friends call me Al, but you can call me Spawn or Your Asskickingness, it's up to you."  
Ichigo snarled. He didn't like the way this "Spawn" was so dismissive of him. Spawn treated him like an annoyance. Ichigo charged, swinging Zangetsu at Spawn. To his shock, a chain came from Spawn's chest, blocking the sword. Ichigo dived back and landed on his feet. He then gripped his arm, pointing his sword down.  
"Bankai! Tensa Zangetsu."

Spawn watched as Ichigo's sword suddenly shrank to a smaller size, now resembling a normal katana. Spawn responded by summoning a large battle-axe into his hand, ready for battle. Ichigo charged forward, swinging his sword. Spawn noticed a marked increase in Ichigo's speed, but his chains still reacted fast enough to deflect the repeated sword blows. Ichigo jumped back, lifting his sword above his head.  
"Getsugatensho!" Ichigo swung his blade down, launching a blue wave at Spawn, which Spawn dodged. Ichigo rapidly hollowfied, a white mask with red markings adorning his face. Ichigo then swung his sword several times, releasing black Getsugatensho's at Spawn. Spawn dodged the attacks, before he charged. Ichigo readied another Getsugatensho, but this time he didn't launch it, merely charging with it on his sword.

Spawn blocked the strike with his axe, before shoving Ichigo back and flinging his axe at Ichigo, watching as Ichigo struck it aside. Spawn then summoned a large claymore and assumed a samurai stance.  
"Swords it is."  
Ichigo charged, and Spawn blocked Tensa Zangetsu on the blade of his claymore. Both warriors tried to force the other back, before Spawn's chest suddenly erupted with chains which attacked Ichigo, forcing him to jump back. Ichigo glared at Spawn, now realising that he needed more tricks. Ichigo then flash stepped to Spawn, starting when Spawn blocked his sword strike with a two-pronged blade that had suddenly emerged from Spawn's shoulder. Ichigo jumped back in time to avoid Spawn's claymore, before Spawn suddenly charged, swinging his sword at Ichigo. Ichigo blocked the strike, before flash stepping past and slashing Spawn's side.

Ichigo turned, and was horrified to see the wound he had dealt Spawn close back up.  
"Instant Regeneration."  
Spawn faced Ichigo.  
"You know what you're doing, but you gotta change your tactics a tad. I can always tell what you're gonna do next."  
Ichigo quickly charged, this time firing a Getsugatensho before preparing another to put on his sword. To his horror, Spawn sidestepped the Getsugatensho and the charge, before his chains suddenly flared to life, striking Ichigo repeatedly. Ichigo recovered and struck the chains away, before Spawn suddenly slammed into him and threw him against a building, shaking the entire structure of the building.

Spawn's chains then wrapped around Ichigo and pulled him forward, holding him up. Ichigo fired a Getsugatensho into Spawn's chest, sending him staggering, but Spawn rapidly pointed his claymore at Ichigo's face.  
"I don't feel like killin' you. Just cut this shit out, kid."

Ichigo sighed, and nodded. Spawn instantly dropped him on the ground, and Ichigo landed shakily on his feet. Spawn then turned his back.  
"Now get outta here, kid."  
Ichigo returned Zangetsu to its sealed form and removed his mask.  
"Who are you? What do you want?"  
Spawn sighed. "I ain't gonna hurt none of your friends, kid. Soul Reapers have never been my enemy. All I want right now is for you to leave me alone."

_Analysis:_

_Spawn possesses multiple incarnations, and his main incarnation varies vastly in power. Obviously the main incarnation is the one being used, and since it ranges from barely stronger than human to stronger than Ichigo by far, we needed to find some sort of midway, since this is not mere low-end, high-end feats, it is in fact his power changing throughout the series depending on his surroundings. _

_Toward that, we can conclude that he can be harmed by a Zanpakuto, since heavenly and demonic weapons can kill him if they decapitate him. It's also likely that spirit energy may slightly lower his abilities due to the fact he feeds off negative energy, but Ichigo's hollow side would have plenty of negative energy for Spawn to feed off of, thus balancing that out. _

_As a result of this, Ichigo hollowfying was actually the worst thing he could have done, and he would have been better off fighting Spawn with only his Bankai. While Ichigo has powerful attacks, Spawn has dodged lasers, allowing him to dodge Getsugatensho, and he has used buildings as weapons, making him stronger physically than Ichigo. Most importantly, Ichigo may be a capable fighter, but he has only a few techniques, and he largely relies on Getsugatensho. Spawn on the other hand can make weapons on the fly and has superior skills in battle, having once been an elite soldier. _

_In conclusion, Ichigo's only means of winning is via decapitation, and with Spawn being faster and stronger, Ichigo not knowing to decapitate Spawn, and Spawn being able to learn Ichigo's moves very quickly and think up countermeasures for them, as well as having abilities the like of which Ichigo has never faced or even seen, Ichigo is at a disadvantage in almost every regard. _


	11. Integra Hellsing vs Harley Quinn

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hellsing or DC Comics.**

The empty side streets of night time London stretched out around the car. The driver sat in the car, and a tall woman with long blond hair dressed in a white coat leaned against the side of the car. A sword rested at her side, and she was smoking a cigar, lit with a cigar lighter. The woman turned when she heard someone giggling. A girl in a clown outfit walked towards Integra.  
"Hiya! Whassup with ya?"

Integra folded her arms impatiently.  
"Who the hell are you?"  
"Harley! Mister J's gal!"  
Integra blow smoke from her mouth, before moving closer.  
"Come to think of it, I really don't care who you are. Get out of here."

Harley seemed very angered by this, and suddenly pulled out a knife.  
"I'll smash your ass to pieces!"

Harley started to charge, but as she raised the knife, it was slashed in half by Integra's sword, which she had suddenly drawn. Harley stared in disbelief at the broken blade, before throwing it away. Harley then readied a large hammer and charged. Integra jumped back as the hammer hit the ground where she had been. Integra rapidly drew her pistol, while Harley drew hers. Two gunshots sounded, and both women were wounded. Integra had been shot in the left shoulder, while Harley had been shot in the upper chest.

Harley and Integra rapidly charged, Integra readying her sword while Harley readied her hammer, and then both swung at each other, Integra narrowly avoiding the hammer while Harley received a small cut. Harley snarled with rage, and the two women charged again, swinging their weapons at each other. The sound of steel cutting bone and a blunt object breaking bone could be heard all over the street, and the two of them both staggered back. Integra had been hit in the chest with the hammer and had several broken ribs, and Harley had been slashed through the chest and was now bleeding thick red blood from her mouth that betrayed the severity of that wound.

"Goddammit!" Snarled Harley, dropping the hammer and shakily raising her pistol. As she did this, four quick gunshots sounded. Harley looked up to see Integra was leaning on the empty sheath of her sword, having dropped the sword on the ground, and was pointing her pistol at Harley. Harley looked down numbly at the four blood-soaked bullet holes in her abdomen.  
"Dammit…"

As Harley dropped her pistol, Integra sat back in the car, telling the bewildered driver to drive back to the mansion. She then quickly called Walter, telling him to have some sort of medical professional there when she returned.

_Analysis:_

_While both Integra and Harley are dangerous, Harley is originally a hospital worker rather than a fighter, and her current fighting more revolves around being erratic than anything else. Integra on the other hand has been taught fencing and shooting, and is excellent at both, as shown when she shot Anderson's bayonets and when she proved able to cut a vampire's head off, a feat that most humans would find impossible. _

_To top it off, Integra's sword is definitely more dangerous than Harley's hammer._


	12. Takashi Komuro vs Kick-Ass

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Kick-Ass or High School of the Dead.**

_How long has it been since everything came to an end? I hardly remember how things were before…  
_Takashi Komuro woke with a start, stirring Saeko Busujima, who slept nearby. Saeko opened her eyes briefly, before closing them again. Takashi looked over at Hirano, who slept on the ground with three rifles in his arms. Saya Takagi slept beside him, her glasses crooked on her face. Rei slept nearby, not far from Takashi. She had not stirred like Saeko had, and she was snoring peacefully. Takashi smiled slightly, before standing, deciding to go for a walk.

* * *

So tell me, Mindy. Why are we in Japan?"  
Hit-Girl glared at Kick-Ass.  
"Shut the fuck up and grow a pair, Dave. These dead loser fucks are causing shit, and we gotta slowly kill them. We're here looking for survivors, but really the job's to kill a fuckin' lot of dead guys. And call me Mindy again and I'll kick your ass. I'm Hit-Girl until the mask comes off."  
Kick-Ass nodded. "Sorry, Hit-Girl. On the plus side, we've killed a lot of these things, so we might eventually wipe them all out."  
Mindy rolled her eyes. "All six billion, Dave? Is it a bit too fuckin' hot in that stupid costume?"

* * *

Takashi leaned over the railing, watching a group of zombies limping through the streets. They seemed so weak and worthless. They certainly didn't look like they could wipe out a population. Takashi climbed over the railing, looking back at the note he had left tied to Saeko's sword hilt. It told her he wasn't far, and not to panic that he's not there.

* * *

Hit-Girl looked down both ends of the street. Zombies were thick on both. She turned to Kick-Ass.  
"You go that way and I'll go this way. Don't forget these fucks are blind. Go kill the fuck outta them."

* * *

Takashi was sitting on a ledge when he heard the sounds of people fighting. He quickly jumped down, readying his pistol and baseball bat. He turned the corner to see a green-costumed young man about his own age taking down large numbers of zombies with a pair of batons. Takashi approached cautiously. He had learned that civilians weren't necessarily friendlies. The last of the zombies fell, and the boy turned to regard Takashi.  
"Hey, I didn't see you there. Who are you?"  
Takashi readied his pistol in his hand. "That doesn't matter. I'm a survivor like you."

Kick-Ass started to approach. "I'm Kick-Ass. You alone?"  
Takashi raised his pistol, removing the safety. To his shock, Kick-Ass reacted the instant the gun started to raise, and flung one of his batons at it, knocking it from Takashi's hand. Kick-Ass then ran forward and kicked the gun aside, shoving Takashi back and reclaiming his baton. Takashi raised his baseball bat and charged, the bat slamming down on Kick-Ass's interlocked batons. Kick-Ass then shoved Takashi back a few paces and advanced, swinging his baton at Takashi, prompting a block, before swing his other baton at Takashi, hitting him in the ribcage.

Takashi was hurt, but the baton wasn't a heavy enough weapon to have broken his ribs. Takashi swung his bat side-on at Kick-Ass, hitting him in the stomach and causing him to grunt and buckle, before Takashi hit him again, this time in the knees, knocking him to the ground. Kick-Ass started to stand again, but Takashi cracked him in the side with the bat, knocking him to the ground. Dave coughed and groaned as he landed, his side, knees and chest killing him despite his dead nerve endings. While Dave started to stand, Takashi struck him in the chest with the bat, knocking him back to the ground. As he did this, Takashi noticed something. Kick-Ass's chest made a metallic sound when he hit it. Kick-Ass had metal in his body.

As Takashi started to advance again, Kick-Ass stood back up, swinging his batons at Takashi, hitting him in the face, the chest and the upper leg. Takashi staggered back, his face bleeding, his chest aching, and his leg numb. As Takashi started to attack again, Kick-Ass smacked him in the face from both sides with his two batons, before kicking him in the chest and knocking him to the ground. Takashi groaned, struggling to his feet. As he did this, Kick-Ass wiped some of the blood from his mouth, where he had obviously bitten his tongue when Takashi knocked him to the ground.

Takashi stood, glaring at Kick-Ass. Takashi spat out blood, limping towards Kick-Ass while leaning on his bat. Kick-Ass moved forward to meet him, and both attacked when they were within range. Takashi swung his bat at Kick-Ass' face, gasping as Kick-Ass ducked it, before Kick-Ass rose to his feet and slammed his shoulder into Takashi, winding him. While Takashi was winded, Kick-Ass slammed both batons into Takashi's face, hitting him in the forehead.

Kick-Ass stepped back, while Takashi fell into a sitting position, groaning. Kick-Ass kicked the bat away, before sitting next to Takashi.  
"You want to stay conscious. I think you got a concussion."  
Kick-Ass quickly helped Takashi to his feet, half carrying him to where he was meant to meet Hit-Girl. Kick-Ass picked up Takashi's bat and pistol on the way, while Takashi slowly regained his full faculties. Hit-Girl took one look at him and said, "It's only a minor concussion. You'll live, which is good. You and your friends can help us."

_Analysis:_

_This is a close fight, and each has definite advantages, Takashi's being his higher willingness to kill, Kick-Ass's being the quality of his enemies. One thing to know about the zombies in High School of the Dead is that they are individually very ineffective. They are blind, they are stupid, they are slow, and they can't even walk on a sloped surface. Saeko established early that knocking them over worked almost as well as killing them because they can't get back up again. Put simply, the zombies Takashi fights are numerous, but very impractical. Kick-Ass's opponents are thugs. Living, thinking, experienced thugs. Kick-Ass's enemies can use weapons, they can run, they can see, they know to duck, they can fight with technique, and in general are superior to the zombies. _

_In other areas, they are comparable. Takashi's bat is heavier than Kick-Ass's batons, but there is only one of it, whereas Kick-Ass has two weapons. Takashi's pistol may seem like a game-changer, but the fact is that he has no shooting experience, and while he can shoot with a rifle, a pistol is more of a different story than you may think. Shooting with a pistol is not as easy as the movies make it look. Takashi with a pistol would be lucky to hit a moving Kick-Ass from ten paces away, whereas Hirano could be standing forty paces away and hit him repeatedly. Add in the fact that Takashi has no practice at rapidly readying the gun, and it fits that Kick-Ass could knock it from his hand, especially when you consider that Kick-Ass's enemies often use guns too. _


	13. Alucard vs Deadpool

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hellsing or Marvel Comics, nor do I own moonwalking, Beat it or Right Round, which are performed by Deadpool in this chapter. **

"Hey, everybody! My name is Deadpool, and I'll be your host this episode!"

Deadpool turned away from the fourth wall. The man he stood next to was glaring at him, and so he casually stuck a knife into his own head.  
"You say somethin'? I heard a weird sound just now. Sounded like a knife bein' stuck through someone's head. Sounded kinda close…"

* * *

Alucard stood in front of Integra's desk, Seras beside him.  
"A mercenary? A mutant? A madman? I can see why this is a job for me. I can do this for you, and I'm not just saying that because it sounds fun."  
Integra remained nonchalant. "Of course. Get it done quickly. I heard he was going to be in England by now."  
Alucard chuckled, before nodding. "I'll find him. I believe he would be on foot right now."  
Integra and Seras watched as Alucard stepped into the wall, vanishing.

* * *

Deadpool was moonwalking down the moonlit street, facing back the way he was walking from.  
"So beat it, just beat it, just beat it."  
Deadpool continued moonwalking even after Alucard suddenly appeared in front of him, smirking. Deadpool kept moonwalking until he walked into Alucard.  
"Whoa! You threw off my supercool groove, man! Now yo gotta make amends!"  
Deadpool suddenly raised his pistol and shot Alucard in the face, spraying blood all over the ground. Alucard fell back briefly, before suddenly kicking Deadpool in the leg and breaking his leg off.

Deadpool laughed, his leg standing up on its own and reattaching itself to him. Alucard smirked at this, readying the silver gun, the Casull. In response, Deadpool readied his pistol and machine gun. Before either had taken stock of anything, Deadpool started firing. The bullets ripped holes in Alucard, who responded by firing rounds from the Casull. The bullets hit Deadpool, tearing holes in him, but Deadpool was as unflustered as Alucard was. Alucard drew the Jackal, while Deadpool dropped his pistol and teleported behind Alucard, stabbing him in the back with one of his katanas, before using the other to slash the vampire's head off.

As Alucard dropped to the ground, Deadpool stabbed Alucard's head with the katana he had used to cut it off, before flicking it off the sword and shooting it.  
"Heads up! Haha! See what I did there? With the head and the up and the sword and the shooting… I'm sooo awesome!"  
As Deadpool said this, Alucard's body and head dissolved, reforming in front of Deadpool. Alucard pointed the Jackal at Deadpool and fired a shot into the back of his head, blowing it apart. Deadpool's body spun around and slashed Alucard's arm off, to which Alucard used his other arm to punch Deadpool's torso with enough force to split it in half. As he did that, Deadpool's left side gave Alucard the finger and Deadpool's right side used the katana it held to slash Alucard in half at the chest.

The two red clad regenerators fell back, before both regenerated and started attacking again. Deadpool slashed Alucard's arm off again, while Alucard punched Deadpool's head off in response. Deadpool responded by shooting Alucard in the face and sticking a katana into his foot. Alucard twisted his foot out of this position and used it to kick Deadpool's hip out of its position, before using the Jackal to shoot a large hole in Deadpool's torso. Deadpool responded in kind by using his two katanas to slash off Alucard's arms and then rend his torso in half, before Alucard kicked Deadpool's head off.

The two of them regenerated again, and started laughing. Neither of them had had fun like this in ages. Alucard then held up his hand.  
"Releasing control art restrictions 3, 2, 1. Approval of situation A recognised. Commencing the Cromwell invocation. Ability restrictions lifted for limited use until the enemy has been rendered silent."  
Deadpool stood and sang to himself as Alucard morphed into a monster composed of shadows.  
"Lookin' good there! Let's how many bits I can cut you into now!"  
Alucard released a dog creature from his body, which lunged at Deadpool, who teleported out of the way, landing on the roof of a nearby building. Alucard rapidly jumped up after him, catching him and rapidly biting him. Alucard began to drain Deadpool, until Deadpool teleported away. Alucard sent Baskerville after Deadpool, and Baskerville caught Deadpool and rapidly consumed him.

Alucard stood in the damaged street, laughing.  
"Was that the best you could do? You were fun, but I hoped you'd do better."  
As Alucard started to return to his base form, he realised he could hear music. He could feel tingling, and he somehow felt like dancing and like going for a random moonwalk to the convenience store. Shaking his head in annoyance, Alucard made Baskerville cough up a piece of Deadpool, which rapidly regenerated into a full Deadpool.  
"Hey there, doggy! Nice to see ya!"  
Alucard picked Deadpool up by the neck.  
"I could have killed you instead of letting you out, but I think you're quite fun. I may have a job for you."

* * *

Seras stepped into Integra's office, waking herself up slowly. In the office stood Alucard, Integra and a strange man in a tight red costume. The man turned to see Seras, and whistled.  
"Yo, baby! Yo womanly chest make my manly chest sing! What say you an' me go to a storage closet and get to know each other on a first name basis by funky candlelight?"  
Seras blushed, and Deadpool continued. "A vampire chick, right? We could go for a walk in the Sun! Burning hot chicks are my thing! Haha, see what I did there?"  
As Seras started to grind her teeth, Deadpool spoke again. "A coffin could really get me there too. I always been into dead things, and coffins kinda turn me on, so you're perfect!"

Seras dashed forward, flicking Deadpool in the face and sending him sprawling.  
"Oh yeah, baby! I like it rough!"  
Deadpool turned to Alucard. "You get to live in the same house with this chick and her huge bazongas? You lucky dog!"  
Alucard chuckled as Seras slammed her fist into Deadpool's face, ripping his head off and sending it spinning across the room.  
As his head flew, it started to sing, "You spin my head right round, right round…" As the head sang, his body started to dance in a strange way, spinning his hips around in a suggestive fashion.  
"When ya go down…"

_Analysis:_

_This is a fight between two regenerators, and as with Ghost Rider, it falls to which one can finish the other one off. Alucard is substantially stronger and faster, which gives him an advantage, but really his ace in the hole is his ability to consume his enemies. Nothing else in his arsenal could put Deadpool down. Drinking Deadpool's blood may or may not do it, but making Baskerville eat him is a very sure way to win, since completely consuming Schrodinger can keep him stored, so there's no reason why Deadpool shouldn't be the same. The fact that Alucard would probably drive himself insane by assimilating Deadpool's personality is just a good incentive to NOT keep him. However, Alucard's ability to kill his familiars makes it likely he could erase Deadpool the same way once he's consumed him, he just chose not to here because he'd probably like him._


End file.
